Advanced Mutuality Skills 2012


October 20 – 27, 2012

The retreat begins at 6:30 PM on Saturday, October 20 and ends at 10:45 AM on Saturday, October 27


For location information contact Hillary at or 415-234-6701.


$1175 if paid in full by August 1
$1275 if paid after August 1

This price does not include the cost of food, lodging or airfare.

Cost for repeating participation:
The price for those wanting to repeat this course is $900 if paid in full by August 1, and $1000 after that date.

Cancellation Policy:

If you need to cancel before August 1, $100 will be non-refundable and the balance will be returned to you.
If you cancel after August 1, the Institute will keep $500 and the balance will be returned to you.
(Because of the high student to teacher ratio, when someone cancels late, we still have to pay for teacher’s flights,
even though we may no longer need them to teach at the event.)

Participants will receive further details including the nearest airport, suggested time of arrival, course schedule, maps, meals, and other logistical information. Optional follow-up phone bridges are also available at $30 per session.

Any questions about retreat logistics can be addressed to Hillary at or 415-234-6701.

Tuition Support is available for qualified participants: click here to apply.

Register Now


AMS is designed to deepen your understanding and experience of mutuality, expand your discriminative awareness, and provide training in mentoring skills, should you choose to go in that direction. Whether or not you’re considering mentoring others, the experience of being in this course and learning these skills will support your own process of integration and evolution in your second life.

Mutuality is fundamentally about the recognition that self and other are not separate. The implications of that require us to relate with each other at a level we’ve never known before. Following are some of the themes we’ll be working with:

Mutuality Groups

The Mutuality groups that form at this event wont be only about greenlighting each other and saying supportive things; they’ll also be about taking supportive action. We’ll be exploring ways to help each other fulfill our purpose and live our deepest truth. We’ll also be discussing:

  • What mutuality is and isn’t
  • Challenges in understanding and trusting each other
  • Mutuality in friendships and intimate relationships
  • The roles of honesty, compassion, and dignity in mutual trust
  • The meaning of “other realization”
  • Mutuality and hierarchy: issues with teachers and Waking Down organizations
  • Practicing mutuality with peers, elders, juniors, and others in the world
  • Finding the balance between honoring your truth and the truth of others
  • Navigating mutuality in the broken zones
  • Learning how to bless and support each other to actualize our full potential

Discriminative Awareness

The second birth awakens a whole new capacity for discrimination. To reduce unnecessary pain, we must apply our growing discriminative awareness to our relationships, with everything we experience, including our own minds, our whole Being beliefs and conditioning, our relationships with others, and our work in the world. We’ll explore:

  • How the awakening process changes radically after the second birth
  • Balancing feminine skills of holding and greenlighting with masculine skills of discipline and discrimination
  • Going beyond conditioned reactions that keep us stuck in unnecessary suffering
  • Taking responsibility for ourselves
  • Fears that keep us from risking and daring
  • How thoughts and beliefs can keep us in fantasy
  • Listening to the impulses of inspiration and creativity


We’ve long since known that mentoring helps mentors even more than students. This makes the path of mentoring one of the most accelerated journeys of self discovery and self actualization we know of. We’ll be considering:

  • The differences between mentoring and teaching
  • Holding others as a sacred mystery
  • The challenges of dual relationships (mentor/student and friend/friend)
  • Working with shame, blame, and defensive reactions in yourself and students
  • Working with core issues and discriminating gifts from brokenness
  • When and why to suggest other forms of help for aspirants
  • The extreme importance of coconut yoga
  • When and why to suggest other forms of help for aspirants
  • The extreme importance of coconut yoga
  • Reparenting issues and your role in healing family wounds
  • Understanding the power differential between you and aspirants
  • Sexual ethics in the context of our work
  • Confidence: trusting in yourself and standing in your own authority

Morning large group meetings will focus on topics mentioned above (along with others that are important to you);
afternoon small groups are designed to assist you in your most cutting-edge personal exploration.

We very much look forward to this event, and especially to being here with you for a full week of deep immersion in mutuality and love.